My New Least Favorite Commercial

So I watch a lot of MLB Network, which is a new channel that doesn't have a ton of viewership. Therefore, they only have about three commercial sponsors on the whole station, and the same three ads cycle endlessly.

Unfortunately, one of the sponsors is Pizza Hut, whose latest attempt to kill people with pizza is one with a crust made of cheese, or something. I'm not exactly clear on it, because I literally have to turn away in horror every time the commercial comes on. It involves the ex-comedian Jim Breuer saying "Jackpot!" over and over again, in increasingly annoying ways. It's a nakedly obvious attempt to start a catchphrase, but fails spectacularly.

It also serves to kill Jim Breuer for me -- if you don't know who he is, he's a sleepy-eyed guy who was on "Saturday Night Live" for a while, best known for his Joe Pesci impression. He was always sort of a frat-boy comedian, a la Dane Cook, but I dunno, I guess I still thought he was OK. No more. He's dead to me. And hopefully, soon, to everyone else.

One quick digression: Have there actually been any nationwide catchphrases lately? Is that a lost art? I remember when every other ad featured a catchphrase that was a nationwide phenomenon. From "Bo Knows Baseball," to "Wassssaaaaap," our young nation was bound in common bond, inviolable and sacrosanct, by the catchphrases that gave voice to our deep and fundamental need to collectively beat jokes into the ground. I was reminded of this recently as I overheard a coworker -- a well-meaning and sociable fellow, I should disclaim -- say "Wassssappp! Remember that ad?" to someone else in the office. It wasn't as annoying as you might think -- it was more of a painfully sad spectacle of desperate, deeply ruined whimsy, like watching a grungy, grinning clown make balloon animals for spare change in a crackhouse.

Admittedly, I'm so ensconsed in my own little world of my wife, fantasy baseball, and whatever's in our Netflix queue, that I probably remain completely ignorant of nationwide catchphrases and suchlike. But it would be interesting if catchphrases were dead. And they say we're going through a tough time in this country! C'mon America, we kicked our catchphrase habit! Turn that frown upside down!

But back to annoying ads: I also remember a time when I had a list of companies whose ads were very annoying. I vowed to boycott those companies until their ads became less excrutiating (which is kinda pointless, actually, because they were all companies whose products I didn't buy anyway, that or I'd just forget). But this Pizza Hut is the first in ages that has brought out that level of revulsion in me. Why is that? Have I mellowed? (Not bloody likely -- recently I cursed out some people at Enterprise Rent-A-Car -- long story.) Or have commercials just gotten better? It might be that plus the fact that I watch fewer commercials, what with Netflix and a DVR. And hey, America, yet another reason to c'mon and get happy: Look at yourself now. Now think back to about eight years ago. Aren't you watching fewer TV ads than you did then? Doesn't that put a smile on your face?

I'm adding this to my list of The Good News (Referring to Problems That Have Been Solved in America and Thus Contrast with Bad News -- Not Referring to Jesus, Who's Good and All, but Let's Be Frank, He's Not Exactly "News"):

1. Acid rain (solved, from what I hear)
2. Hole in the ozone (not exactly solved, from what I hear, but much less of a problem, all due to smart government regulation of the offending chemicals -- all in all, good reason to think the government can have a positive influence on global warming)
3. Serial killers (As I pointed out in an earlier post, when was the last time you heard about a serial killer? But in the '90s, the country was lousy with them.)
4. Violent crime (obviously not solved, but down dramatically since the mid-'90s)
5. Annoying TV ads (not abolished, but down to a trickle, in my view)

I'm sure there are more, but those are the ones that come immediately to mind. I think it's important to review these Good News items so we don't get too discouraged. Anyone got others?