Sunday, January 18, 2009

OK, this is better

I'm making a list of sports-arena anthems made by gay men. Here's what I have so far:

"We Will Rock You": Queen
"YMCA": The Village People
"That One Song That Goes Oooh-Ooh, Hey! Ba Baa Ba-Ba, Oooh-Ooh, Hey!": Gary Glitter
"Cat Scratch Fever": Ted Nugent (Ohmigod, you didn't know he was gay? What?!?!? Nuge is the gayest gay who ever gayed!)

That's all I've got so far. I wonder if I'm a bit fascinated by gay men. I think I'm more fascinated with people's fascination with gay men, you know? Like, why does anyone give a shit whether gay men get married or not? How does that effect me, or indeed how does it affect anyone who's not gay? 

I think that the whole opposition to gay marriage is just about heterosexuals who don't get out much suddenly hearing that gay people want to get married and then going "Ew! Gross!" And then they never really move beyond that. They never really get to the next stage, which is "Wait, uh, who cares?" Instead, they stay stuck at the "Ew" stage, and then make up justifications for this feeling, like "it violates the sanctity of marriage," or "God no likey" or "if you make gayness acceptable, then everyone will become gay, and no one will want to be construction workers except in a sexy way, and the homebuilding industry will tank because all construction workers will be too busy having sex and will never get any work done." But you know, considering the state of housing nowadays, it would really help a lot if all those construction workers went gay and got into interior design instead. We've already got too many houses. And come to think of it, we have too many people too. If there were more gays, there would be fewer babies, and maybe we'd get the human population to a more sustainable level.  

So that's why I'm in favor of gay marriage. In fact, everyone should have to get gay married. The future of our planet depends on it. The end. 

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