Let's say all you really wanted in life was to be in love. After years and years of trying and coming up empty, you finally meet someone you really like. You start dating. It's going well. You start to think this person might be "The One." You're giddy -- you've never felt this way about anyone before. So this is what all those love songs are about!
You propose marriage and this person says yes. Hooray! Excitement mounts as the big day approaches. It's a beautiful Saturday in August, and all of the people you love are there. This is your moment.
You stand at the altar with the love of your life. Joy, hope and love envelop you in a warm embrace. The minister asks for the rings.
Suddenly, Derek Jeter bursts into the church, smirks, and starts making love to your fiancee, in front of everyone. You are of course shocked, heartbroken and disgusted. Everyone else, though, begins shoveling praise onto Jeter for his amazing grasp of fundamentals, for his grace under pressure, and for generally being the most wonderful human being to ever walk the planet.
Now let's say this exact same thing happens every goddamn year. That's what it's like to be a Twins fan.
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2 comments:
Did the Yankees win last night?
One of these years your girlfriend will totally punch Derek Jeter in the face and it will all be worth it....until she sleeps with him again on your one year anniversary.
What? Someone's punching Derek Jeter in the face? When? Where? I would give my life savings to see that smug prick get his head bashed in. Seriously. Bounty hunters out there, take note.
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