Nerd v. Geek v. Dork

Among us nerds (and geeks and dorks), there’s always considerable discussion about nomenclature. Specifically, what are the difference between nerds, geeks, and dorks? Everyone has their own take on the subject, and they’re all wrong except me.

Nerds, geeks and dorks all have the same origin: the fringes of high school life. They were all rejects in high school – not invited to parties, no dates, etc. Sometimes, a high school can be so large that the nerds/geeks/dorks can manage to form their own little hierarchy, but they don’t tend to be good at that sort of thing. Jocks have an inborn ability to form a pack, full of alpha males and omega males and etc. Nerds/geeks/dorks, being all omega males, tend to be a bit more disorganized.

Anyway, as you move into real life, divisions start to show. Nerds are on the top of the heap. Nerds are nice, smart, quiet folks who have basic social skills but would often rather sit at home and watch a documentary than go to a wild party. They’re not the sci-fi crowd – they’re the type who really enjoyed school and continues on a lifelong journey of the mind and yadda yadda. They read literature and go to museums and when often say about themselves with a smile, “ah, I’m such a nerd!”

Nerds can often be quite charming and accomplished. They know how to comport themselves and work with people – the only traits that really mark them as nerds is their intelligence, quiet tendencies and uncool, bookish tastes.

Geeks are not so socially adept. These are the sci-fi fans and Renaissance Fair enthusiasts. These are the people that “just have something odd about them” and make regular folks slightly uneasy. They may be very smart, but their general oddness tends to keep them on the fringes of society.

Geeks are not only a bit socially unaware – they’re also not very self-aware. They don’t actually realize how lame it is to fill your cubicle with unopened action figures. They can’t seem to tell that most of what the Sci-Fi channel shows really, really sucks. They are unable to comprehend how the average person can’t reformat a hard drive. Nerds may have such tendencies but would be a bit bashful about them – geeks have no shame.

I’ve argued with people about this distinction between geeks and nerds with people who say that I have the groups right, but backwards. Geeks are the nice folks, they say; nerds are the ones who give us all a bad name. I stand by my take, though, because of the origins of the words. Originally, the word “geek” referred to a circus performer who bit the heads off of chickens. No joke. The word “nerd” has a more unknown origin. To me, that means geeks are a bit further outside the norm.

So what of the dork? The poor, unloved dork? Well, it’s not good news. They’re neither socially aware nor smart. Dorks are at the bottom of the hierarchy, left to menial jobs and lives of quiet desperation. I’d rather not talk about dorks any more – it’s too sad.

As you might be able to tell, I consider myself a nerd. And not a geek, thank you very much. There is a lot of resentment among us nerds about geeks whose outlandish, unapologetic lameness tarnishes the reputations of all of us. But really, we shouldn’t fight. We need to band together to protect the dorks. The jocks may have lost power since high school, but they’re still out there -- running hardware stores, manning middle management positions -- and we must maintain a united front. I'm sorry. Truce.