Movie I Hate Without Having Seen

Doesn't "Revolutionary Road" look absolutely dreadful? I'm usually a sucker for the Oscar-bait films -- I've already seen "Benjamin Button," "Doubt," "Slumdog Millionaire," etc. -- but from the ads, "Revolutionary Road" looks so painfully simple-minded and self-important that I want to kill someone, preferably Sam Mendes, the director. He also directed "American Beauty," which after I saw it the first time, I thought "Hey, that was kinda fun," and then after I saw it the second time I thought "What a load of crap!" It, and apparently "Revolutionary Road" even more so, has nothing at the core but the simple equation of "suburbs = terrible, life-stifling pressure cooker where people pretend they're all identical and happy but actually they have these BIG, DEEEP DARK secrets" ... Oh my gosh, really? You mean "Leave it to Beaver" wasn't documantary footage, Sam Mendes?

Sam Mendes: It's true. "Leave it to Beaver" was a sham! Some people in the suburbs have secrets. Some are even gay!

Me Secretly Mocking Sam Mendes Without Him Realizing It: Say it ain't so, Flo! It's only been about 30 years since anyone tried to maintain the illusion that the suburbs represent a simple utopia ... but yet your trenchant, earth-shattering insights are just coming out now? How is that possible?

Sam Mendes: Well, everyone is stupid except me. Every American, anyway. I'm British, and have never lived in American suburbs, but I don't need to, because I have a depth of understanding that no other human being can truly fathom.

Me Secretly Mocking Sam Mendes Without Him Realizing It: Well, what about all those people who simply want a quiet, safe place to raise their kids that's not too expensive and near a major metropolitan area? What can we possibly do to save them from the death sentence to the soul that is the suburbs?

Sam Mendes: Have them watch my films. My films rip the cover off of their delusions and expose them to the true nature of art, and beauty, and life, and feeling -- all things that can not exist for you at all if you live in the suburbs. Or if you have kids.

Me Secretly Mocking Sam Mendes Without Him Realizing It: So all people should follow their hearts and go to Paris and take absinthe and fuck poets? That sounds like a wonderful solution for all our societal problems! Thank you for saving humanity, Sam Mendes!

Sam Mendes: It is all in a day's work for a brilliant iconoclast like myself.

And scene. Conclusion: "Revolutionary Road" sucks. And I haven't even seen it! That's efficiency.